Mother Fuhrer

Hello once again! Recently (which is spanish for ‘this morning’) I had sore eyes. Yep! That thing where your eyes burn like fuck. So of course, my eyes being contagious and all (pun intended) I had to stay away from school. I know I should be feeling like really great about it, but for some reason, I miss school…

Enough about me, let’s talk about someone we all know and hate.

This guy!

Hitler has been a metaphor for evil since his smart-ass idea of the Holocaust. For those born yesterday, the Holocaust was a genocide carried out on European Jews. Hitler might’ve just woken up one morning, yawned and stretched, did a little dance, then decided to rid Europe of Jews.

He impressively led most of Germany against Jews, giving inspiring speeches on the Holocaust. Soon, the world was divided. It was ‘for the Jews’ or ‘against the Jews’. Those like America and Japan took advantage of the situation and boom! World War. But I didn’t write this post to talk about the World War… maybe later… I wrote this post to talk about this idiot, who’s made a name for himself by murdering millions.

Yes, the man with the moustache has dominated cartoon parodies, books, and other crazy shit. Heck, he’s found his way into my blog! Even while he’s dead he’s fucking with us.

Now Adolf Hitler was born a curious child. He tried bee-keeping, farming, singing in the choir, and also thought about becoming a priest. Then of course, he later on desired to be an artist. Here’s the messed up part. His dad was such a fucking joy killer, that he vehemently refused his son’s dreams to come true. Instead, Hitler was made to go to ‘technical school’ where he would be trained to be a Customs Official. Like any other teenager, Adolf rebelled against his father’s foolish decision by failing his ass in class. But to no avail- Adolf’s father still was a bitch about the whole art thing.

Negligent dads = Douchebag kids

 

Adolf and his family lived on the Austrian-German border, but Adolf’s dad was a big time Austrian patriot. So, to piss off his dad once again, Hitler became a German nationalist, saying ‘Heil’ as a greeting to his friends. Then of course, being unaccepted by an art college twice, Hitler travelled around, barely struggling for survival. And the wandering around led Hitler to his hate for the Jews and so on and so forth.

The Jew-hating nutjob became Chancellor through lies, leading the public within false stories of his past. Then, when at the height of his influence over the public, he carried out the Holocaust, started World War II and then got married and died two days later. What an idiot.

Interesting Facts:

– He believed himself to be the Anti-Christ and carried around with him Nostrodamus’ prophesies.

– His staff video taped prisoners getting tortured and Hitler kinda liked them. Other than videos of people getting the fuck beaten out of them, Hitler also enjoyed pornography, which was also secured by the same staff.

– The dictator also had a curious habit. He would walk to and fro from one corner of the room to another, while whistling the same tune over and over again.